this irrational season

speed bonny boat like a bird on the wing

tani — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 20:48:48 +0000

Today I am 24.
I leave in 18 days, to spend 18 days in the UK. *Kermit-like flailing* So far it looks like we’re doing: SE England, SW England, Wales, NW England, Scotland, NE England, Central England, London. Busy busy busy, but it’ll be fun. And most likely more than a little exhausting. But fun!
I’m excited. Nervous. I haven’t been on a plane in 19 years - just after my 5th birthday, actually, was my first & only plane trip, so it’s practically going to be 19 years to the day. And I’ve never been off the continent. *flails more*

the logdriver’s waltz pleases girls completely

tani — Wed, 05 Apr 2006 23:22:56 +0000

I had this big entry planned, and I was going to post pics of The Scarf and the amazing progress on the thrummed mittens, and also how I went to the newest yarn store in town here, but I had my ‘pulmonary function test’ this afternoon and now I ache. Terribly, horribly, and I cannot lift my arms and I hurt from my neck to my waist. Blerk.
So, to sum up: today = good over all, pft = teh crapx0r.

swing her head ’round and all together… sailing homeward to Mingulay

tani — Mon, 03 Apr 2006 11:07:46 +0000

So, last week, I finally completed my first knitting project ever. Some people start with dishcloths in garter stitch, I jump right into cables with the [Irish Hiking Scarf]. Thankfully there was really only one oops, and it’s totally not noticeable unless you’re counting rows. And this is a good thing, because the scarf is a Christmas present for my girlfriend.
Wow, you say, it’s only April and you’ve started Christmas crafting already? You’re so organised! And I nod in agreement and just leave out the part that it was for Christmas ‘05, actually. But I have an excuse! I forgot how to bind off! And was, um, too lazy to check my [favourite website] for the instructional video. Ahahaahaaa… ha. I suck. But it’s done, and fringed, and now I can pass it along with my best wishes for a warm summer.
My next project is going to be a set of thrummed mitts from a kit I bought on eBay (my new obsession). It arrived today, and the yarn is gorgeous. So I’m excited.

School is going… well, it’s going. If everything works out perfectly, I’m might be able to finish up at the end of June ‘07. Or I could just resign myself to a life spend in Alberta academia, which I think I’m going to do anyway, as my current plan is to finish up this degree and then go get another one. Heh. Riiiight. Welcome to Starbucks, can I get a drink started for you?

Britain with Bonnie is shaping up well. I have my ISIC and my passport, and the pictures on both are amazingly horrible, as was expected. It looks like we’re going to be gone for the end of July and most of August, so we should get to see some neat stuff. There’s this excellent sounding tour that we’re thinking of taking for the Scotland portion of the trip - it goes up into the Orkneys and then over to Skye and is just cool.

good times never seemed so good

tani — Tue, 15 Nov 2005 00:38:26 +0000

Happy is an excellent place to be.
:-)

so this is the new year and I don’t feel any different

tani — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 00:07:40 +0000

Today has been an unhappy day. My blood sugar’s been really low, and I had my first experience with reactive hypoglycemia - it wasn’t pretty. At least I know why I’m so upset today, and don’t have to worry that I’ve suddenly become manic or something. But yes. The littlest thing is setting me off - I cried for an hour over fanfic.
And I’ve been neurotic over school, too. I’m just so tired. I’m tired of going going going and never accomplishing anything. I’m tired of never seeing any gains for my efforts. I’m tired of feeling like I’m stupid and useless. I’m tired of not being able to see the graduation light at the end of the academia tunnel, and I’m afraid of getting squished by the you-didn’t-get-into-grad-school-train. And. Then what is there for jobs in this field? If I don’t get a research grant etc., will I be happy doing mundane shit that has nothing to do with my degree?
And this is why medicine/nursing/pharmacology was always so appealing. Because I knew that there’d be something there for me, some tangible result for my years of school. But I fucked that up, so really, I have nobody to blame here but me.
I’m just so tired.

sat by the river and it made me complete

tani — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 23:41:05 +0000

I’m so bad with the updating. Blergh.
School’s going very well. I think the break this summer was really what I needed; taking at least one semester off in the summer is pretty much what I’m going to have to do now, so that I don’t burn out. I keep dwelling, though, on the fact that I’ve been doing this for five years and I’m just now making actual progress. And I feel so guilty, because Mum keeps shelling out cash for school and I know that when I finally graduate with my BSc, she’ll have no savings left because of me. And she’s okay with that, but I’m not. :-/
Anyway, yes. School. Geoarchaeology is totally the best thing ever. I think concentrating on geoarky and Interior Salish arky is the best way for me to go, to keep me interested, to keep me motivated. Because I have come to find that the root of all my school problems is my inherent laziness if the topic doesn’t grab me.
I keep having all these weird dreams, though, where I’m working in film and television. o_O Because that’d so happen. Not, like, acting or anything, but where I’m directing, or working as a PA or somesuch. It’s bizarre. I do miss film geekery, though. Canadian Studies was good for that.
My old university now offers geoarky. I’m trying really hard to talk myself out of applying for transfer. Because I have a life here, now. I have friends, great roommates, an awesome girlfriend, and a degree track. And moving back would be an unnecessary expense. But I’d be closer to family, and my focus area. But I can finish my degree here, too. I just… I don’t know. Ponder ponder ponder.

And, finally, because it must be said: David Hewlett is just the coolest and dorkiest man ever.

i could fill your days with flowers

tani — Wed, 14 Sep 2005 11:52:02 +0000

Barbara was in class this morning! Yay! I’d been sort of bemoaning the fact that I didn’t know anybody in my classes, and then there she was!
Barbara’s fun. She was in McCafferty’s class with me last year, and my partner in Danny’s lab section. A lot of people really don’t like her - she’s smart, she’s funny, and she always speaks out in class, asking questions above and beyond the level required. Some girls in McCafferty’s lecture last year gave her a hard time; I think it’s because they were quite threatened by the fact that she’s the obvious student to get an A, to get the scholarships, to get the recognition. And she refuses to conform.
Speaking of conformity - what is it with this whole idea of not appearing too smart? We’re all in post secondary, here. And yet, it’s wrong to speak up in class, it’s wrong to talk about anything other than heading to the bar on Friday night, it’s wrong to want to read Goethe and not care about the lastest sparkly shoes in at Churgin’s. I don’t get it. I really don’t. It could be that I’ve ended up in a lot of classes with freshmen, over the years, but I notice it even in higher years. And apparently grad school’s just as bad, but with more competitiveness and arrogance. Yeesh.
I have a job interview at 3 this afternoon, for a position as a paylot attendant. Yeah, it’s not a really remarkable job in any sense, but if I get it, I’d have a lot of time to read and do homework. And I really really want to get it. It wouldn’t pay as much as my contract at the DRC, but I’m really fed up with the bullshit there. The coordinator is incredibly disorganised, and I get a lot of flack for not being able to do all the work that they want me to. I’m an academic aide, not a homecare worker. I have no formal first aid training, I have no certifications or qualifications. They knew that when they hired me. And I’m getting annoyed with all the yes-you-hav-a-job/no-you-don’t that they’ve been pulling, so I’d really like to be able to say screw it and go to something else.
Geoarky class in an hour. Wheeee!

all your methods have taught me is to separate my blood from bone

tani — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 15:22:08 +0000

Aaaaand we’re back. First day of fall classes and I’m already doing homework. (Well, sort of. I don’t have the textbooks yet for my classes, so I’ve borrowed them from the library and am taking notes from them ‘cause they’re actually from the Reserve Collection which means I can only have them for three days and… yeah. Babbling.)
Anyway. Have to find a new job zip quick. Have to also not be so neurotic, because not everything bad that happens is my fault. People having shitty days is not my fault. Must keep reminding myself of this.
(It’s so hard to believe, though, because sometimes it is me, and how am I supposed to know when those times are, especially if people are cryptic and stuff?)
Heh. Speaking of cryptic…

champagne from a paper cup is never quite the same

tani — Mon, 01 Aug 2005 22:53:18 +0000

I never update. I suck.
So, it’s August 1st. Ack, omg, etc. In a little over a month I will be back in class, doing the whole scholastic thing again. This summer has been a really nice break, especially considering that I’d been going to school and working solidly since I moved here… which would make it three years without time off from school. No wonder I was getting burnt out. Here’s hoping that this year I’ll finally get my ass in gear and get those A’s I know I’m capable of.
James went in for his surgery on Friday. I’m sure someone would have called if something went horrifically wrong, but I still worry. Carter’s in the hospital, James is in the hospital, so I’m a giant ball of stress. Plus there’s this damned wedding that I have to go to… I love Brock & Nicki dearly, but why why WHY did they have to have the wedding in Victoria? Kamloops would have made so much more sense.
And there’s some almost-drama going on in the friends group here. I’m fairly sure none of them even know this blog exists (thank gods), but still, no names shall be used. Suffice it to say, there are a few of us who are getting really sick and tired of only being spoken too when other people need something. In retrospect, I did expect this, just not from the people who it’s coming from.
So, to sum up: tired, stressed, and it’s almost school again. Blergh.

strike up the band and make the fireflies dance

tani — Sun, 10 Jul 2005 00:34:52 +0000

[Stones In the Field: “Kiss me…”] is talking about kisses, and Frank replies with “My mother was waiting in the car to drive me home. She must have talked. I probably responded. But a goodly portion of me was still on Laurie’s back porch. I think maybe part of me still is.” and this just resonated. Because no matter where I go, no matter what I do, I will always be able to recall my two ‘first’ kisses: Trina Mallette, while we were sitting on the foot of her bed drafting fanfic at all of 9/10 years old, and then Jago Streek, sitting on the transfer bus up to the high school while my friends sat in the seats behind us and teased me mercilessly while dropping orange peels down my shirt. A part of me will always be on that school bus, will always be in that rickety old house.
I like kissing. A lot of the time, I like kissing more than sex. It’s like physics - sex is E_k, but kissing is E_p. And I love potential energy, because the anticipation of what could happen is always so fun. It’s like that rock, at the edge of the cliff, just waiting to have that final push to becoming kinetic, but all that potential is just there and it fills you up and up and up and then it might just go over the edge into freefall and yes.
Hmm. So, in my world, physics = sex ≅ love. It’s confirmed, I am a total dork.